What, you may well ask, are The Candy Boys? Sounds more like some sort of camp Culture Club tribute band than a plausible opposition for Remnants. And, indeed, Remnants were down to be playing Fen Ditton tonight (not a Tight Fit tribute act, incidentally), but they'd added themselves to the depressingly long "We've only got five players" list, so The Candy Boys were formed (by Cameron Petrie and Andy Owen) in their stead. There was some hope - inspired in part by the name - that these might be easy-beats, but a combination of St Giles league regulars and county over-forties players meant that they probably had us out-gunned, particularly in the batting department.
It was thus rather frustrating that Andy Owen, captaining in Cameron's absence, called correctly at the toss and elected to field, meaning that they'd be able to marshall their batsman as required by whatever target we'd posted. Still, at least we started solidly enough, openers Tom Serby (19 off 12 balls) and Andy Bell (39 off 37 balls) both hitting some huge leg-side boundaries, before last-minute draftee Michael McCann (21 off 17 balls) then smashed a brace of beautiful cut shots, one in particular slamming into the equipment shed with a terrifying smack, despite having gone along the ground all the way. With the score at 90/3 after 13 (six-ball) overs we had hopes of a 150+ total, but we were becalmed by some good death bowling, with the result that Olly Rex (16 off 15 balls) and Daniel Mortlock (17* off 15 balls, one of which was a no ball that was chopped onto his stumps) actually oversaw a rather frustrating deceleration as the innings came to a close.
The nagging feeling was that 133/7 wasn't enough, with one of The Candy Boys likely to come off (so to speak), even if we could control - or dismiss - the rest. Not that any sort of control seemed very likely given the litany of failures at the "throw the ball around the field back to the bowler" routine, with fumbles and backing off the order of the day. Still, we had to "control the controllables", and we did that superbly throughout the whole innings, barely bowling a bad ball, stopping everything within reach, and taking some good catches (even if a few did go begging).
Olly Rex (1/7) got the first breakthrough when one of the openers chipped the ball to Matt Hughes at short mid-wicket - he had to jump up to get it, and at first appeared to have gone too early . . . but after a little juggle he'd held on tight. Paul Jordan's comment that "I don't know what you're like in the bedroom, but you're a real tease on the cricket field" had all of us intrigued, especially those of us who've heard rumours that Paul does know. Paul (0/21) himself came on first change and was unlucky to go for as many as he did, some rare dud fielding inflating his figures a bit unfairly. But for all the other bowlers it was fantasy land, as their economy rates attest: Alec Armstrong (1/12), 3.00; Faruk Kara (3/15), 3.75; Felix Serby (2/10), 2.50; Daniel Mortlock (1/3), 1.50. Alec's wicket was thanks to a superb diving outfield catch by Olly Rex; and Faruk's included a sharp stumping by stand-in 'keeper Michael McCann; but Felix's were all his own, as he combined surprising pace, immaculate line and low bounce to bowl two of the opposition's best batsmen. And this despite hurting his hand while making one of a number of fantastic stops, something that Matt, Alec, Andy Bell and Josh Nall all managed as well (the stops, that is, not the hand-hurting). Add in a few comedy run outs (Daniel being given all the time in the world to lob a return to Michael to get rid of the startled non-striker; Paul putting in a gutsy chase to have the batsman so far out of his ground that there was time for the ball to get to the fieldsman who was backing up before the bowler finally removed a bail at the second pass), and it really was one-way traffic.
Even the late arrival of super-finisher Andy Owen at the crease wasn't enough to change things, and in the end the only question was whether we'd be able to set a club record by getting all eleven opposition wickets (we were playing twelve-a-side). The man charged with this task was Matt Hughes, and it looked like he might miss out when dropped a little short and was pulled with great force . . . but Olly took a superb diving one-hander, robbing Matt (1/3) off two balls but completing the most decisive of victories in the appropriate style.
