Report by Dave Williams:
The BBC weather website's customary pessimism was tested and confirmed once again, as the doomy forecast "heavy showers" turned into a few drops that soon dried off as I cycled down the lovely path to Coton.
The strip was the customary mixture of good, bad and ugly. "Good" was the Parker's Piece-like slow tennis-ball bounce. "Bad" was the local knowledge that brought on their left-arm-over to open from the end where a distinctly green area presaged a dip of an inch or two outside the right-hander's leg stump, just short of a length. "Ugly" were the dessicated dog turds scattered along the M11-side boundary. Notwithstanding any or all of these, a good score and a close game could be in the offing, as Romsey Town can attest from last Saturday.
George Speller opened for Coton from the far end, extracting good away swing at pace and his customary well-disguised slower one. Even so, Tom Serby and Dave Williams struck 11 off his first, Tom looking well balanced and purposeful and Dave pulling a short one down and behind for four. After some aggressive hitting from Tom, he chipped George's slower one to mid-off, to be dismissed for 12 (off 10 balls). Dave was getting into gear, smashing a crunchy six into the car park off their first change, followed shortly by an ultra-defensive prod that simply missed to be bowled for 19 (off 22 balls). Tom Jordan struggled to play the variable bounce off the Coton pitch (3 off 13 balls), but John Richer (16 off 17 balls) and Olly Rex (30 off 28 balls) put on 40 good runs. Then the rest of the Remnants innings: John Young (9 off 10 balls) showed excellent intent and carved a couple of boundaries through the vacant slips; Paul J. (0 off 2 balls) looked bemused as his son despatched him LBW for missing a slow one on the stumps; Russell Woolf (0 off 3 balls) sneaked a cheeky and intelligent single off some loose fielding; John Moore (3* off 9 balls) was busy and bustling; and Adrian Mellish (0* off 5 balls) was Mr Cool as the last over accumulated a non-princely one. 118/9 was hardly a run feast, but then again we'd successfully defended 101/5 on this surface last year .
The Coton reply started under the cerulean skies of a now-beautiful Cambridgeshire summer evening. A fairly leisurely start from the Cotonians against lively medium-fast from Olly Rex (1/22) and Paul Jordan (0/8). Their most leisurely opener unfortunately pulled a muscle, and decided to retire hurt. The new batsman was called for a sharp single off a leg glance, only to find that John Moore had felt the Force and had destroyed his stumps with this throw from square leg. At which point, a double rainbow appeared and a host of heavenly angels appeared and sang 'Hosanna in the Highest'. (N.b. only one of these three improbable things is not true.)
There followed a procession of blinding Remnants catches - yes, that is correct, this is not a misprint, you have not died and gone to heaven. John Richer took three, including a stunner diving low at short mid-on off to Tom (I think) as the Remnants, Aztec style, tore the still-beating heart out of the Coton innings (sorry for over-writing). John Moore also took a good catch in this period, John Young made some stunning stops, and Adrian Mellish (3/37) got two wickets in two balls.
But where was the dangerman, George S, sometime of this parish? Answer: waiting, like a pervert outside a girls' school, for the right moment to show himself (sorry about over-writing). George announced his intentions by smashing his first ball for a six over the big boundary over long-on. By this time the spectacular anvil cumulus formations were rolling overhead; on the ground Mr Speller was biffing like his very own elemental forza del destino. Even so, he had much to do. From needing 52 off 30, they now needed 5 off the last over. Olly gamely got a couple of dot balls, but it was too little too late; the hokey-cokey fields (out for George, in for the other bloke) now simply just had to be in; George blocked and scampered the last run as John Richer (Who else tonight?) turned and threw down the bowler's stumps - but George was just home. And in a moment of sublime bathos that no other game than cricket can manage - thus proving its status as the game most mimetic of the triumphs, tragedies, comedies and farces of our lives - it turned out that Coton had won off the previous ball anyway.
So there was much shaking of hands and thanking - as was right for a fantastic game and a very friendly and delightful oppo. In the pavilion: a photo of a Coton team from the 1920s where every single player had the surname Childerley. On the walls: a promotion-winning league plaque with Jim Schwabe's name from 1976. In the pub: a couple of glasses of Leffe tasting like cold liquid buttered toast, and Tom Serby pleasurably nervous but looking forward to taking the Cambridgeshire Under 11s down to Taunton. On the way back: bats up and down the footpath, grand west-Cambridge houses showing their rooms full of books. On the computer: some work guiltily not finished but the match report done.