The other day a friend asked me how my cricket season had been going so far. I happily told him about a first week which netted bowling figures of 6/43, but then sheepishly admitted that, of the four balls I'd faced in the middle, I'd been bowled by two. He immediately asked if this was common -- that one could start bowling well straight away, but that most people needed a few matches to get their eye in when it came to batting. This seemed preferable to the other possibility -- that I'm just rubbish at batting -- and so I agreed enthusiastically. Now, with the court's permission, I'd like to introduce the first three Remnants games into evidence as supporting this theory. In the first game John Gull (previous Remnants bowling average: 43.33) nabbed 4/20 and seemed likely to have got the season's best figures there and then; in the second match Daniel Mortlock bettered this with 4/14 when Churchill's batsmen kept slogging at straight ones; and, finally, today's game was dominated by Alex Brown, who got the club's first five-for this millenium.
With Remnants career figures of 6 wickets at 23.50 prior to this match, Alex had certainly seemed a good prospect but nothing prepared us -- or, clearly, Coton's batsmen -- for today's onslaught. Dave Green reports that it all started innocuously enough: the batsman got a faint edge to what might charitably be called a loosener, and got full marks for walking straight away (although what sort of person would not walk in an after-work friendly?). After this, however, Alex bowled an excellent spell of 5/23, including the scalp of one George Speller, who was subsequently seen wandering forlornly around Cambridge muttering incoherently about ``being bowled by an eight-year-old''.
Clearly Alex was largely responsible for Coton's paltry total of 89, but he did have excellent support from Rob Harvey and Phil Watson (both 1/2), Andy Owen (a rather expensive 1/7) and dad Rupert Brown (1/0 off one ball, thus giving family figures of 6/23).
Our pursuit of this ``total'' was remarkable only for the fact that our two most experienced cricketers, Will Phatson (11) and Mony Talik (18), both managed to be run out, despite there clearly being no pressure to score at any great rate. In the end Nick Clarke (quel surprise) top-scored with 34 and we ambled home with 5 wickets and 10 balls to spare.
All this meant more drinking time and, with Alex getting a jug, it seemed there would be plenty of cleansing ale for all comers . . . except that young Mr Brown apparently couldn't see why he should have to buy drinks when he was the one who'd done so well. In the end a compromise was reached: Alex's co-creator, Rupert, bought a jug, whilst the demon bowler received an extra-large glass of what Dave quaintly refered to as ``fizzy pop''.
